


Frozen Waffles, Canned Tomatoes, And Curry

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Anxiety, Background Holly Conrad/Suzy Berhow, Curtains Fic, Domestic, Drama, F/M, M/M, Poly Angst, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 13:52:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Dan, new to polyamory, worries himself in circles, as he is wont to do.





	Frozen Waffles, Canned Tomatoes, And Curry

**Author's Note:**

> Edited by Angel!

Dan came home tired. 

It wasn’t entirely his own fault - he’d been working hard, and he was feeling… well, to be blunt, he was feeling run a bit ragged. 

Holly was sprawled out on the couch, her eyes half closed, and she was snoring quietly, Orph sprawled out on her chest. 

The cat was rising and falling with every breath she took, and she looked so comfortable, so cuddly… he wanted to crawl onto the couch with her, snuggle up.

They’d only been living together for about a month - the both of them were still getting used to the idea of it, kind of.

They’d moved in together partially out of necessity - Holly had her nice big house, which she’d shared with Ross, before they’d broken up. 

And then the lease on Dan’s apartment was kinda coming due and Dan had been more or less living with her anyway, so really, why not, because… well, why not?

He still felt like a stranger, visiting.

It was… he wasn’t sure.

Or at least, not entirely sure.

He was new at this, for a few different reasons - he’d never had a partner that he lived with before, and he was buddies with Holly’s ex-boyfriend, who didn’t seem to mind that he lived with her - didn’t seem to mind that the two of them were dating in the first place.

It was… it was complicated and weird, and it was even further complicated by the fact that Dan was _also_ dating Arin, which made shit even more awkward. 

Because Dan was… well, Dan was still pretty new at the whole “polyamory” thing, and he was new to the idea of dating another dude… it was all kind of a big, complicated mishmash.

Stuff was simpler, when he was still just Dan, the perpetually single.

The perpetually lonely, perpetually skin hungry, perpetually envious of all of his friends in their relationships.

… and now he was dating Arin, and Holly was dating Suzy, and it was all just this big mess of entanglements. 

Although entanglements were nice. 

Especially when he came home, after a cuddly make out session, to find Holly, looking adorable and cozy, some random movie playing in the background.

Dan leaned down, and he kissed the top of her head, tucking a piece of faded purple hair behind her ear.

She’d been talking about dying her hair for a while, although she’d been waffling lately - she was trying to decide what color she wanted it to be. 

As always, he suggested blue. 

Blue was his favorite. 

She’d made vague noises, but was still waffling.

Mmm… waffles.

He could go for some waffles - who didn’t like waffles? 

He made his way to the kitchen, carefully, his socked feet quiet on the floor. 

He still felt like some kind of great galumphing beast - there was so much… delicate stuff.

She kept insisting it was his home too, and that was true, but… it was still a thing. 

But they had waffles in the freezer, and he shoved them in the toaster, then dipped them in syrup.

Only to find Holly in the kitchen with him, her eyes still sleepy.

“Hi,” she said, and she had a pillow crease, right along her cheek. 

“Hi,” said Dan. “Sorry, pidge. Did I wake you up?”

“It’s okay,” said Holly, and she yawned, rubbing her eyes. “I fell asleep waiting for you.”

“I’m sorry,” said Dan. “You didn’t have to. Me and Arin, we were, uh… you know.”

He blushed.

It was kinda funny - he’d been with Arin and Holly for about the same amount of time. 

But there was still this… feeling, like he was being weird when he reminded either of them about the other.

Maybe it was because of all of the things he’d read about polyamory - that there were ways of doing these kinds of things, and he didn’t know how it felt.

“Did you text me before that, or after that?”

“Before,” Dan said, and a wash of guilt slid down his back. “I was kinda… you know, I said that I’d be on my way home, and then things… you know, happened.”

“Right,” said Holly, and she yawned. “Can you keep me up to date next time?”

“Of course,” said Dan, and he opened his arms up for her, as she leaned against him, her head under his chin.

“I thought you’d died in a car wreck or something like that,” Holly said, right into his collarbone.

“Oh, fuck, no, no,’ Dan said, and he kissed the top of her head, wrapping his arms around her. 

“It’s one of the weird advantages of having chronic anxiety,” Holly said, and she sounded wryly amused. “When the bad stuff actually happens, I know that I’ll be prepared, since I’ve gone over it a million times in my head.”

“I’m sorry,” said Dan.

He was the worst boyfriend, possibly _ever_ \- he was bad at poly, he was obviously an inconsiderate jerk…. 

“It’s okay,” said Holly. “Thank you for your apology, though,” she added.

“You’re welcome,” he said, and he kissed her again, on the forehead this time.

“You made me waffles too, right?”

There was a note of hope in her voice.

“Of course,” he said, and he was only lying a little bit - he gave her the last waffle, even though _technically_ he had planned to have it for himself.

But fuck it.

What was the point of eating waffles at some unknown hour of the night, if not to share them with his beloved girlfriend? 

She took a bite of it, and then she made a face.

“Needs Nutella,” she said.

“You fuckin’ weirdo,” he said into the top of her head.

“Listen,” Holly said, “just because you can’t eat Nutella doesn’t mean that the rest of the world doesn’t love it.”

“Well, yeah,” said Dan, “but who puts Nutella on _waffles_?”

“Plenty of people,” Holly said, her tone haughty.

“How come I can never see it at restaurants, then?”

“Are you ever actually looking for things with Nutella in them at restaurants?”

“Well, no….”

“Have you been to any specialty waffle restaurants?”

“Speciality waffle restaurants? Is that even a thing?”

“We live in LA, hon,” said Holly. “There’s probably a peanut butter waffle taco truck.”

There was an audible pause, as the both of them tried to think of that.

“We should go to bed,” Dan said, and he yawned, rubbing his eyes. “We’re both tired.”

“Yeah,” said Holly, and she snuggled up to him, holding on to his shirt, her nose pressed into his neck. 

Orph the cat was rubbing against his ankles, and he leaned down, to give Orph a scratch on the ears. 

“That means you have to let go of me,” Dan pointed out. 

“Aw,” Holly said, and she was very clearly pouting. “I don’t want to.”

“Well, we can’t exactly sleep upright in the kitchen,” Dan pointed out. “We’re not horses.”

“... why would we have horses in our kitchen?”

Holly let go of him, and stuck the sticky dish in the fridge, still munching on the last of the waffle. 

“Well, okay, no horses in the kitchen,” said Dan. “Although we once had possums in our kitchen.”

“... what?”

Holly turned the water on, rinsing her face off. 

“Possums in the kitchen,” said Dan, and he rinsed his own hands off, then turned the light off, making his way towards their bedroom, and the bathroom attached therein. 

“I repeat, what,” said Dan, and then he was taking his shirt off, turning on the water in the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

He paused, then closed the door, right before he unzipped his pants.

Some small part of his brain was still used to living on his own, and peeing with the door open.

He’d stop having to consciously thinking about it at some point, but he wasn’t at that point quite yet. 

Holly yelling at him a few times had helped.

* * * 

Dan, having pissed, brushed his teeth, washed his face, and taken his nighttime meds, lay in bed, and listened to the quiet, sleepy sounds of Holly getting ready for bed 

He was just in his boxers, and he sighed, as she turned the light off in the bathroom, then padded over to the bed barefoot.

She was completely naked, and she cuddled up to him, her skin warm and familiar against his own. 

He wrapped his arms around her, his hands on her lower back, his nose buried into her hair.

Her leg was draped across his own, and her breasts were soft against his bare chest.

“We have to go grocery shopping tomorrow,” she said, her voice quiet. “I want to try making that chili recipe. And we need tomato paste.”

“We always need tomato paste. Or canned tomatoes, or canned diced tomatoes, or… something.”

“We should take out stock in a tomato company,” Dan said, his voice drowsy.

“I don’t think they have tomato companies,” Holly said, and her voice was quiet, her breath ticklish against his skin.

If he were in a more… amorous mood, he might have suggested something else, but… maybe later. 

He was too warm right now, too comfy.

The feeling of bare skin on bare skin was arousing, true, but sometimes it was deeper than that.

Something primal, something deep.

He pressed a little kiss to her temple, and he curled around her, is long legs wrapping around her shorter one. 

“Then who makes the canned tomatoes?”

“G-g-general vegetable… companies,” she yawned.

“Is that like General Mills?”

“Mmm?”

“I dunno,” Dan said, and then he was letting his eyes drift shut, and he was drifting off to sleep. 

* * * 

Dan woke up to an empty bed, a text from Holly, and a hard on.

So a pretty normal morning, all things considered.

_Would you mind going grocery shopping by yourself? Suzy needs my help with a thing._

Dan bit back the little bit of jealousy that licked at his heels like undertow.

Suzy was Holly’s girlfriend - Holly was allowed to spend time with her.

Even if they did have plans together.

Sort of.

Grocery shopping wasn’t exactly top of the list, when it came to sweet romantic getaways, but still.

It was… it was something.

Dan sighed, and covered his eyes with his arm.

At least it was making his hard on go down, without too much… effort.

_No problem. Can you send me a list of what you need?_

_Certainly. Thanks, babe. <3 _

He sent her a little emoji heart back, and then he rolled over, pressing his face into his pillow, his eyes going half mast.

He could sleep a little longer - if he wasn’t in a hurry, he didn’t have to worry, right? 

He sighed, and he reached out for her pillow, unconsciously pressing it against his chest, pressing his face into it.

He could still smell the faint green undertone of her shampoo, and the pillowcase itself was stained with her hair dye, and all the different colors that had come with it. 

* * *

Dan wasn’t expecting another text from Holly, as he finished his work out.

_Change of plans. Meet you at the grocery store tonight?_

_Sounds good!_

He’d have to ask her about that later - what had happened, to make her change her plans like that?

He’d have to ask.

He was still a little bit guilty, about the thrill he got in his stomach at the thought of having more time with her, but fuck it. 

He was getting to see his girlfriend, and they were going to be spending time explicitly with each other. 

It was… it was exactly what he wanted. 

* * * 

Dan kissed Arin, once he walked into the Grump room.

Arin looked like a zombie - a particularly attractive zombie, admittedly, especially with his hair tied back like that, but still… a zombie.

“Are you gonna eat my brains?”

“Why would I eat your brains?”

Arin leaned back into the back of the couch, his eyes half shut. 

“Because you look like something off of Z Nation.”

“What’s Z Nation?”

“A zombie show.”

“Why are you not referencing the Walking Dead?”

“‘Cause the zombies on Z Nation look weirder,” said Dan.

“What, so you’re saying I look weirder?”

“Nah, just weirder than one particular kind of zombie,” said Dan. 

“Gee, thanks,” said Arin, and he was putting on a pretty theatrical pout.

“I’m sorry,” Dan said, and he leaned in, kissing Arin loudly on the temple.

“Suzy woke up feeling great, then just… got sick,” said Arin.

“Oh,” said Dan.

That would explain the sudden change in plans for Holly, come to think of it.

“I, on the other hand, was up half the night feeling like garbage.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” said Dan. 

… wait, he had been kissing Arin last night. 

Did that mean that he was going to be getting sick soon? 

Fuck, he didn’t want to get Holly sick - convention season was coming up, and it wouldn’t do for her to be laid up for that. 

“It’s probably something we ate,” Arin said gloomily.

“Oh,” said Dan.

“You wouldn’t have been able to eat it,” said Arin, and he sighed. “It was red meat.”

“Right,” said Dan, and he gave Arin another kiss, because he could. “Well, you wanna get started?”

“Let’s.”

* * *

They gamed.

It was an easy day today, at least - they worked on another long game.

They rambled, they told various horrible jokes, and Arin did his horrible impression of Yoda losing his virginity, because… of course he did.

It was… it was nice.

It was comfortable.

Sometimes, Dan forgot how easy it could be with Arin - when they’d gotten together, there had been a lot of agonizing over what this meant, could he do the polyamory thing… and now, things were just… easy.

He hadn’t been aware that relationships could be easy like this.

It was… it was different with Holly. Not in a way that he was entirely sure he understood, except that what he felt for her was different from anything he’d ever felt before.

… did that mean he cared less about Arin?

Was he thinking too much about this stuff?

“Dan?” 

Arin was shaking Dan’s shoulder, and Dan snapped out of his daze.

“Sorry,” he told Arin, his expression sheepish. “I think I kinda zoned out.”

“Be careful,” Arin said, and then he started coughing, making a face.

“You sound like fuckin’... patient zero here,” said Dan. 

“Yeah, man. I’m gonna start the zombie plague, all by my lonesome.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the zombie plague started in LA,” Arin said, and he was looking at the screen, but clearly not really paying attention to it. 

“No?”

“God no,” said Arin. “We all work super hard, we’re all crammed together, and we’re all exhausted.”

“I dunno,” Dan said. “New York is like that too, and they’re even more tightly crammed together.”

“Why don’t more plagues start in cities, anyway? I keep seeing them starting in, like, bumblefuck nowhere.”

“You keep seeing them started?”

“Well, okay, I’m not, like… seeing them myself. But in movies and shit….”

“Right. Because movies are usually known for being so factual, am I right?”

“Oh, shut up,” said Arin, his tone affectionate.

Dan poked Arin in the side.

Arin poked Dan back.

Dan let contentedness crash down onto his head, and he sighed.

He was… genuinely looking forward to going grocery shopping with Holly. How about that?

Was that weird?

Was he that bothered by the fact that it might be?

“What are you grinning about, dude?”

“I’ve, uh, I’ve got some fun plans tonight,” said Dan. 

“Oh yeah? You doing anything super crazy and exciting, with your musician lifestyle?”

“My musician lifestyle, where I usually go to bed before midnight, and binge watch Game of Thrones?”

“I bet you have all the sexy groupies throwing themselves at you,” Arin said.

Dan snorted, then cackled.

“You, uh, you know the average age of one of my fans,” he told Arin. “I’m not exactly interested in that kinda cradle robbing.”

“God, when did we get _old_?”

“Who is this “we” you’re talking about, exactly?”

“I’m not that much older than you,” Dan said, although he knew he was kind of kidding himself. 

“Anyway,” Arin said, “next time on Game Grumps!”

* * *

They ended early - Arin felt too much like yesterday’s garbage to do much more, and he looked like he needed to sleep more than anything else.

So Dan sent Holly a text message, to meet him in the park. 

Why not, right?

They could watch the sunset together, feed the birds.

Were there birds around at sunset?

… Dan wasn’t sure.

But he brought a big bag of frozen peas with him, regardless. 

Peas would freeze again, wouldn’t they?

* * * 

Dan sat on a bench, and he idly people watched. 

It was a quiet night at the park - people weren’t doing much of anything on a Wednesday evening in the park. 

He saw Holly before she saw him - she was wearing a black dress, printed with some witchy looking sigils, and a dark sunhat.

He wanted to kiss her so badly, - he wanted to hold her against him, to smell her hair.

He wanted her to tell him about her day, and what she did today. What kind of art she did, the game she’d DMed for, the whole of it.

… wow, but he had it bad.

He was blushing so hard - his cheeks were hot to the touch, and he probably looked silly, sitting on a park bench, beaming and red faced.

“Oh, hi,” said Holly, when she caught sight of him.

“Hi,” said Dan, and he offered a hand to her, as she sat next to him.

She squeezed his fingers, and he squeezed hers back. 

“Hi,” said Holly, and she leaned against him. “I’m sorry for jerking you around like that this morning.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dan assured her, and he kissed her on the temple, his arm around her waist, squeezing her gently. 

She was sturdy against him, warm. 

She smelled faintly of paint. 

“How was your day?”

“Pretty good,” Dan said. “I think Arin gave Suzy whatever it is that was making her sick.”

“I’ll have to lecture him about getting my girlfriend sick like that,” Holly said, her voice light.

Dan’s stomach did a funny little twist at that - he still sometimes had to deal with something like jealousy sometimes.

… maybe he wasn’t cut out for poly.

His feelings for Holly… they were different from his feelings for Arin. 

Maybe… no.

He wasn’t going to worry about that right now.

He tucked his hand into the pocket of her dress, and he rested his head on top of hers. 

“I brought frozen peas,” he told her. 

“Frozen peas?”

“Yeah,” said Dan. “You said that’s good for birds.” 

“Right,” said Holly, and she smiled. “Thanks for remembering that.”

“I watched that video,” Dan said, and he threw a handful of frozen peas onto the flat dirty in front of them.

It was dry enough that it sent up a plume of dust, and Holly sneezed, then made a face, covering her face.

“Sorry,” she said, and she sounded sheepish.

“It’s fine,” Dan said, and he was patting his pockets for a tissue.

He ended up pulling out a wad of napkins, and he held it out to her, blushing just a bit.

“Thanks,” Holly said, and she wiped her nose, balling the wet tissue up and tossing it into the trash can next to the bench.

“Of course,” said Dan.

“I think that part of adulthood is always having a napkin or a tissue or… something, in case of some kind of emergency,” Holly said, as the pigeons and sparrows began to congregate around the bench. 

“You think so?”

“I mean,” Holly said, her tone thoughtful, “it does show that there’s forethought, which is a big part of being an adult.”

“Yeah, fair enough,” said Dan, and he sat with her, watching the sky turn from a watery grey to a deep red.

“It’s not gonna rain tomorrow,” Holly said. 

“Well, obviously,” said Dan. “We do live in LA.”

Holly snorted, and she poked him in the side.

“Even if we didn’t live in LA,” she told him. 

“Hmm?”

“You know - red sky at night, sailors delight, and all that.”

“Oh yeah,” said Dan, his tone thoughtful. “Although I thought it was reversed.”

“But then it wouldn’t rhyme,” Holly pointed out. 

“Well, yeah,” said Dan. “But which are they gonna change? The rhyme, or the atmospheric occurrence?”

“You do have a point there,” Holly said. “We need to get some kinda weather mage or something.”

“A weather mage?”

“Yeah,” said Holly. “Someone to make it rain more.”

“Weren’t you talking about how we live in a delicate desert ecosystem?”

“... shush,” said Holly, and she poked Dan in the side.

Dan poked her back. 

“I miss Scotland,” Holly said quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you ever miss New Jersey?”

Dan paused, tried to think.

“I… I miss my family. Kinda? I miss seeing the people who I knew there. But I don’t necessarily miss the place itself.”

“You don’t miss snow?”

“I didn’t like snow that much,” said Dan. 

“Well, yeah,” said Holly. “As skinny as you are, the wind probably goes right through you.”

“Gee, thanks,” Dan grumbled.

Holly kissed him on the cheek, and threw more frozen peas out for the birds, who were pecking them up, squabbling over this or that. 

She was talking to them, using her birb voice, and that always made him smile - she was so _cute_ like this, all animated and excited.

It was nice, seeing someone he loved being so happy.

Sometimes he wished that he could be that happy about something.

But he’d had most of his… excessive excitability mellowed out of him, via all that pot in his youth. 

He sat with her, as she fed the birds, his hip pressed against hers, listening to him talk about her day, about how all the various animals were doing, about the projects she was working on.

He could listen to her talk all day.

That was a bit of a revelation. 

He’d had it before, of course - sometimes it felt like he was just falling in love with her, again and again.

But fuck it.

He was going to hold on to his happiness, just as hard as he could. 

* * * 

“So what do we need at the grocery store?”

They walked back towards his car, hand in hand.

“Um,” said Dan. “I know we need frozen waffles. And canned tomatoes.”

“... not together, I hope,” Holly said, and she made a face.

“I know that in some places, tomatoes are considered a fruit. I mean, technically, they _are_ a fruit!”

“Wasn’t there a post going around on some social network, about how intelligence is knowing that tomatoes are a fruit, but knowledge is knowing not to put then in a fruit salad?”

“That was on Tumblr,” said Holly. “Since when do you remember Tumblr posts?”

“Mainly when you tell me about them,” Dan reminded her, as they approached the car, unlocking it, then climbing in. 

“Oh,” said Holly, and she laughed, tossing her hat into the back seat. “Yeah, that would make sense.”

“I do that sometimes,” Dan said, and he started the car.

Holly made a scolding noise, and she squeezed his knee. 

He covered her hand with his own, and squeezed it.

His hands were just so… big. 

Her hands were also pretty small, it was true, but the difference in their sizes sometimes took him by surprise.

She came off as this mix of delicate and sturdy - he wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it sometimes. 

He wasn’t sure of what to make of himself, in relation to her. 

He loved her so much that sometimes it scared him, and he didn’t know what to make of that, either. 

But they were here.

They were here, on the earth, together, and they were going to go grocery shopping, and then they would make dinner, and it would… it would be good.

* * *

Holly pushed the cart, while Dan walked beside her. 

He’d never admit it to her, but there was something nice about grocery shopping with her. 

He wasn’t sure why - it had always just been a chore, when he had lived by himself, but now that he was living with her, it was genuinely enjoyable.

Maybe some of it was just how… domestic it was.

He had always been afraid of being domestic with someone - afraid of cramping his style, of trying to fit himself into the metaphorical house with the white picket fence and the two point five children, tied to one person for the rest of his life, without any other options.

But Holly didn’t believe in white picket fences, didn’t ever want to have children, and being polyamorous, it wasn’t like he wasn’t stuck at a buffet and only allowed to eat one dish anymore. 

Although would it be so bad, having it just be the two of them?

… she’d never agree to it. 

Maybe he was reading too much into things - after all, this was just grocery shopping. 

Part of his enjoyment was probably because Holly actually liked to cook, so it wasn’t just loading up on frozen, pre-prepared food.

He was actually eating healthier than he had when he lived alone, which was a surprise. 

Then again, living with a vegetarian would probably do that for anyone. 

Barring people who were, like, allergic to vegetables.

“Dan?”

“Hm?”

Dan shook himself out of his daze. 

“I need you to get me that,” Holly said, and she was pointing up, to the top of the shelf.

“I am forever relegated to the act of human grabber,” Dan said, as he took down a large can of diced tomatoes. 

“When you say something like that, I’m imagining you being, like… one of those giant crane machines.”

“Me being the whole machine?”

“Being the crane part of it, at least.”

“... that’d be a pretty sweet gig, I think,” said Dan. “You get to hang from a harness, grab cute plushies and shit, and then just get to chill out on your own some more.”

“That sounds like it’d be kinda boring,” said Holly. “What if you ended up having to drop stuff, out of, like, some kind of contractual obligation? Since you’re not supposed to let people actually get the prizes.” 

“Some people can get the prizes,” Dan pointed out. “There’s always someone out there who can get it.”

“Well, yeah,there’s always someone who has that weird skill that’s needed to make a crane machine work, but there’s probably someone out there that can parallel park underwater, but that doesn’t mean that it’s actually a useful skill that would be used in day to day life,” said Holly. “We shouldn’t just start saying that the bottom of the ocean is a good place to parking lots.”

“I mean,” Dan said, “with the way that global warming is going….”

“... I don’t want to think about that,” Holly said, making a face, as Dan pushed the cart along.

“Fair enough,” said Dan. “So what else do we need?”

“Mushrooms,” said Holly. 

“Which ones?”

“All of them,” Holly said promptly. 

Dan snorted.

“You and your love of mushrooms,” he teased.

“I think of it being a bit like the circle of life,” Holly said, her tone philosophical. “Someday, we’re gonna all be food for mushrooms. So me eating them is, in a weird way, me getting ahead.”

“... what.”

“It made sense in my head,” Holly said, slightly defensive. 

“I’m sure it did,” Dan said, and he patted her on the shoulder.

Holly snorted, and picked up three different packets of mushrooms. 

“How are you going to cook them?”

It was kind of funny - he’d never been interested in cooking stuff, for the most part, until he had started to date Holly and Arin.

Both of them liked to cook - Holly was good with most vegetarian dishes, and Arin liked to try a lot of different things. 

It was almost serendipitous, that the man who couldn’t eat red meat had moved in with a vegetarian. 

“Do you want to get some chicken nuggets or something?”

“Nah,” said Dan. “I can get my protein the same way you are.”

“I feel like it would take a lot more lentils to keep you going,” Holly said, her tone teasing.

“There’s about as much of me as there is of you,” Dan told her, keeping hs tone completely stony. “I’ve just been stretched out more.”

“So you and I are about the same mass?”

“Something like that, yeah,” said Dan. 

Holly grinned. 

“You’re very silly,” she told him.

“I do my best,” Dan demurred.

She kissed him on the cheek, a loud, smacking kiss, and he blushed, although he wasn’t sure why. 

It wasn’t like this was some kind of scandalous PDA or something like this. 

But… still.

He smiled at her, and he was aware that he was beaming like something out of a certain type of commercial. 

“So,” said Holly. “Curry or chili?”

“... how about stew?”

“Why not curry or chili?”

“Because my guts already hate me, and giving them spicy things of any kind is just asking for trouble.”

“Curry doesn’t necessarily have to be spicy,” she pointed out.

“Well, yes, it doesn’t have to be spicy, but it’s still curry. Curry is, in itself, a spice. So in order for it to be good, it would be spicy.”

“... that was some downright circular logic you just used there,” Holly said, and she sounded mildly impressed. 

“It’s so circular, you could sit a bunch of knights around it,” said Dan, proud in spite of himself.

Holly snorted.

“The round table probably wasn’t perfectly circular,” Holly pointed out.

“Hm?”

“I’ve got a degree in medieval studies, remember?”

“Was King Arthur in those days?”

“Well, no,” said Holly. “King Arthur wasn’t in any days. He didn’t exist.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“But I thought - “

“King Arthur was about as real as Sweeney Todd.”

“I read online that they found a whole thing about him, ages ago. Under some old church, in Fleet Street.”

“Well, that was fake,” said Holly. “I can even tell you about its origins.”

“Sweeney Todd was kind of post the medieval period,” Dan pointed out.

“Well, yes,” said Holly, “but I liked the musical a lot when I was a kid. So I ended up kinda… learning a lot about it in general.”

“Oh,” said Dan. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“It helped in the early days of my vegetarianism as well,” Holly said, her tone thoughtful. 

“Mm?”

“Yeah,” said Holly. “I didn’t have to worry about anyone ever feeding me “long pig” or shit like that.”

“Long pig?”

Dan was faintly appalled. 

“You’ve never heard that euphemism?”

“ _No_!” 

"I mean, then again," said Holly, her tone thoughtful, "if you grew up Jewish, why would you be eating any kind of pig, long or otherwise?"

"... why do they call it long pig in the first place?"

"Because human meat is supposed to taste like pork," Holly said.

"How do you _know_ this?!"

"Oh," said Holly, and she looked sheepish. "I, uh, I read about it."

"What kind of books talk about what human meat tastes like?"

"Weren't we literally just talking about the fact that I knew a lot about Sweeney Todd?"

"... fair point," said Dan, sheepish, and he leaned over to kiss her. "I'm sorry, pigeon.”  
"It's fine," said Holly, and she patted him on the shoulder. "If you really want to make it up to me, you can do the dishes tonight."

"I was gonna do that anyway," Dan pointed out. 

"Well, yeah," said Holly, "but now you can do it with the assurance that you're making it up to me."

"... fair enough," said Dan. "I can't really argue with that logic."

"You probably could, if you tried," said Holly, and she leaned against him, hip to hip.

She was warm, solid. 

Familiar already, familiar in a way she hadn't been when they weren't living together, and it was... it made a lump in his throat.

He felt a pang - why didn't he feel this with Arin?

Would he ever feel like this with Arin?

Because he wanted to live with Holly for the rest of his life - or at least, for the rest of his life that was in the foreseeable future.

Inasmuch as anything was in the foreseeable future.

... yeah, he was overthinking this. 

Maybe he was a bad polyamorous person.

Now that he thought about it, he probably just needed to talk to Holly about this - talk to _both_ of them about this.

But he'd need to think about it before he actually said anything. 

Which he didn't want to think about. 

Goddamn it. 

Why was this all so bullshit?

Life was so much easier when he was just a random dude who pined after people and courted his own heartbreak.

"Dan?"

"Mm?"

"You're spacing out again," said Holly.

"Sorry," said Dan.

She shot him a concerned look.

"You've been spacing out a lot lately," she said. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah," said Dan. "I think I've been woolgathering more than usual."

"Must be a lot of sheep, if they're leaving that much wool around," said Holly, as they walked through the frozen foods aisle.

Dan grinned, then began to giggle, which evolved into a chuckle, which turned into full fledged belly laughter.

He caught Holly's slightly anxious expression, and that just got him laughing harder - laughing so hard he had to pause, right there in the middle of the aisle with his shopping cart, gasping for breath and wiping tears out of his eyes as he panted.

"Are you... are you okay?"

"I'm... I'm fine," Dan gasped. "Sheep!"

"Yes, they would be sheep. That's generally where you get wool."

"Dan sheep!"

"... what?"

"Would they be sheep l-like me? Because I already look like... like a sheep."

More laughter, and he didn't even know why he was laughing so hard. 

Maybe all of the anxiety finally funneling out of him, leaving him weak in the knees, bent over and gasping like he'd been running a marathon.

"Oh honey," said Holly, and she stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm going to go get cat litter. Can you get bread?"

He gave a thumbs up, still hunched over the shopping cart and panting. 

The image of a herd of sheep, all with his same coppery-auburn curls - came back to his head, and he was giggling again. 

... he didn't know why this was hitting him right in his funny bone, but it was, and he couldn't stop giggling. 

Fuck. 

Okay.

He was a grown ass adult. 

He could do this.

He just needed to _breathe_ , and stop giggling. 

He took a deep, sobering breath, and then he was making his way towards the bread aisle.

* * *

Dan had finally calmed down,by the time they met up again.

He'd tossed a loaf of bread into the cart, as well as a box of cereal.

Holly looked down at it, and she wrinkled her nose.

"Cookie Crisp? Really?"

"It's good," Dan said defensively.

"You've got the palate of a six year old," Holly scolded.

"I do not! I could eat a lot more stuff when I was six," said Dan.

"You're not helping your case," said Holly.

He stuck his tongue out at her.

She grinned at him. 

"I'm sorry you developed so many food sensitivities," she said. 

"Yeah, it does kinda suck," Dan said. 

She wrapped an arm around his middle, and they stood in line at the checkout, hip to hip.

"So you wanna start cooking when we get home?"

"Sounds like a good plan," said Holly. 

"Did we ever agree on what we'd make?"

"If I make a coconut curry, it'd be easier on your stomach...."

"If I end up sick -"

"I will prostrate myself in front of the bathroom door and bring you the fancy toilet paper and the Pepto Bismol." 

"... fair enough," said Dan, and he kissed her on the temple, a loud, silly smooch.

She blushed, resting her head on his shoulder, then beginning to load up the conveyor belt.

* * *

They drove home in a companionable silence, until Holly phone rang. 

"Can you answer that?"

"Sure, hold on," said Dan, and he took her phone off of the dashboard. "Hello?"

"Dan?" 

It was Suzy. 

"Yeah, Holly's driving."

"Right. Sorry, I just wanted to tell Holly that I was feeling better, if she wants to maybe go on a date tomorrow night?" 

"Suzy wants to know if you'd wanna go on a date tomorrow night?"

Dan's stomach twisted, his anxiety trying to climb up and out of his throat, like some kind of hairy, slavering rat. 

He could almost feel its claws scrabbling in the tender meat of his throat, the fur brushing against his teeth. 

"Sure!" 

Holly's face lit up, and another wash of jealousy passed over Dan, like a wave of sewage.

Did her face ever do that when she was looking at him? He'd never noticed, but then again, he'd also never seen her talking to him in a truly spontaneous moment. 

Why was he so damn anxious today?

Why was all of this getting to him?

"She says sure," said Dan. 

"Tell Suzy I'll text her when I get home," said Holly.

"I heard that," said Suzy, and then she raised her voice. "I love you, baby! Can't wait to see you tomorrow!"

"Looking forward to it," said Holly, and she made kissing noises towards the phone.

Suzy made kissing noises back, and Dan tried not to let his discomfort show on his face.

And then Suzy hung up, and Holly sighed, her expression verging on dreamy eyed.

"Sorry," Holly said, and she smiled at him.

Some of her happiness infected him, and he smiled at her in spite of himself.

How could he not, when she was so damn happy?

It was... sometimes, he wished he was the only one who made her happy like that, but in the long term... he had to take his happiness where he could find it, right?

Her being happy made him happy, and it wasn't like she really got jealous of Arin that often, right?

He sighed, and he put her phone back on the dashboard.

"Anything special you wanna do, after dinner?"

"I was thinking we could maybe just... chill out, watch a movie?"

"That sounds good," said Dan. 

"I need to feed everyone when we get home anyway."

"Want me to do any pet feeding?"

"You do the cats, I'll do the pigeons?"

"Sounds good. Want me to do Paco and Pancake, too?"

"Sounds like a plan!"

It was... it was all so domestic. 

It was easy.

It was unsettlingly easy to be domestic with her.

Not even because he lived with her, just... living with her, it made everything that much _easier_. 

Everything about her was easy. 

... except in the "standard" description of "easy," obviously, but still. 

He was in love with her.

The strength of it - the sheer amount of just... how much he loved her washed over her, and it hit him in the gut like a punch. 

"Are you _sure_ you're okay?"

"Yeah," Dan said, and his voice was thick. "Yeah, I'm... I'm good. I love you."

She flushed, looking at him out of the corner of her eye, and she smiled at him. 

"I love you too," she said, and his heart sang, an echoing, almost squealing feedback that filled his head up, the most joyful noise that he had ever heard.

He had to write a song for her.

He had to write a million songs for her, he had to compose an opera, a symphony....

They paused at a red light, and she reached over, squeezing his knee.

He covered her hand with his own, and he squeezed her fingers. 

She flushed, and then she took her hand off of his leg to go back to driving.

* * *

Getting home was a pretty simple affair - park, then unload the groceries.

Holly did most of the heavy lifting, and he would have been embarrassed about that, except that he kind of loved the fact that she was strong enough to do it.

She could probably lift him up, if she wanted to. 

He was more or less coming to terms with the fact that he'd never be built or shredded or all those other synonyms for having the kind of muscles that you saw when on magazine covers.

He'd never be buff the way Arin was either, but... eh, fuck it.

He looked like himself, and Holly loved him like that.

Arin loved him like that, come to think of it, and he flushed a little bit, thinking of that.

... shit, he probably should have texted Arin, see if Arin was feeling any better.

Dan groaned.

"I'm the worst boyfriend ever," he said.

"You are not," said Holly.

"I feel like I am sometimes," said Dan. 

"Well, we all have jerks in the backs of our heads," said Holly. "I think you're being an excellent boyfriend."

"Thanks," said Dan, and he kissed her. 

"I mean it," Holly said. "You are. I'm sure Arin would agree with me."

"Do you ever feel weird about that?"

"Hm?"

Holly put the can of tomatoes on the counter, and looked over at him.

"Like... the fact that you have to share me with Arin. I mean... you don't _have_ to share me...."

That had just popped out of his mouth. 

She looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

“What are you suggesting?”

She had gone very still. 

“I’m saying, um… if you ever wanted… if you wanted… actually, never mind.” 

What was he even saying?

She cleared her throat, and she rubbed her hands together, a nervous stim of hers. 

“I… I’d never ask you to be monogamous,” she said. “You know that, right?”

“Oh, obviously,” he said.

“And you’d never ask me that either.”

“Of course,” he said.

Even though that wasn’t exactly true.

Sort of.

Maybe?

Goddamn it.

“I’m going to go feed the pigeons,” said Holly. “Can you get started on dinner, feed the cats?”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Dan, and he leaned in, kissing her gently on the mouth. 

She kissed him back, then patted him on the cheek, and walked off to feed the pigeons.

Dan was singing quietly to himself as he worked, dishing out cat food, then cutting up vegetables and pouring out seeds.

Dan gave Paco his dinner, fed the cats, then washed his hands and began to chop things up for dinner.

This was easy, at least.

His knife skills were never going to be… well, good, but at least he could cut things up in such a way as they more or less cooked evenly. 

He was mulling over a song in his head - maybe he needed to find a way to figure out how to write a song about polyamory, while still keeping it to the theme of Ninja Sex Party.

… admittedly, Ninja Sex Party probably couldn’t write a full on polyamory jam, what with one thing and another, but there had to be something he could do, right?

It would be fun - maybe make a whole skit about Danny Sexbang discovering that it was an option?

Except he’d written group sex before, and part of the joke about Danny Sexbang was that he was all about the sex, not about actually getting anything romantic done.

Dan groaned, pressing his face into the cabinets over the kitchen cabinet.

“You okay, babe?”

Dan looked over his shoulder, to see Holly coming in, going to wash her hands. 

“Yeah,” Dan said. “I’m trying to figure out how to make a song work.”

“Not working?”

“Not so far, nope,” said Dan. “I hate it when they do this.”

“Mmm?”

“Sometimes things work a certain way. Like.. like I have the shape of the joke in my head, but I don’t have the actual words for it in my head. If that makes sense?”

“Yeah, that kinda makes sense,” said Holly. “Do you think I should have a flail snail in my latest campaign?”

“A flail snail? Is that a real thing?”

“I mean,” said Holly, taking out a pan and drizzling oil into it, then spooning curry into it, “it’s as real as anything else in Dungeons and Dragons is real.”

“But it’s an actual, for real monster. As in it’s in the monster manual and everything?”

“Yep!” Holly grinned. 

“That is, like, the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” said Dan, and he pushed the cutting board full of chopped up bell peppers towards her. 

“Can you do the onion next?”

“Sure. How do you want me to chop them up?”

“It’s… that one technique. Hold on.”

She crowded closer to him, and she put her own hands over his own, to show him how to chop it. 

“Hmm?”

She was so warm - her breasts were pressed against his back, her belly was warm against his lower back. 

Her hand was very small, and it was guiding him - making little cuts along the onion he’d already cut in half, then turning the blade horizontal and cutting through the meat of the onion.

“This will make it easier to just have a bunch of little bits,” she told him.

“Where’d you learn that one?”

“Oh, you know,” said Holly, and she kissed him on the cheek. “Watch enough cooking shows, you begin to pick things up. Or if you watch YouTube tutorials.”

“You were watching YouTube tutorials on how to chop onions?”

He kept his fingers curled carefully, working the knife. 

“Yep,” Holly said. “I thought that maybe there was a way that I could do it better.”

“Huh,” said Dan. “You know, it’s dumb, but I never thought about that.”

“Thought about what?”

“Thought about… you know, that there were techniques for things like chopping onions. I thought it was just a thing that people… did.”

“You didn’t do much cooking before we got together, did you?”

“Not really, no,” said Dan, and he sounded sheepish. 

“Well, I’m glad you were willing to learn for me,” said Holly, and something squeezed Dan’s chest tightly. 

Oh, she was sweet.

He loved her like he loved his own bones - he didn’t even feel it sometimes, he just… felt it.

“Dan?”

“Mmm?”

“I think the onions are done.” 

He paused - there were tears dripping down his face.

Was he sad, or was it the onions?

He was pretty sure it was the onions - he’d know if he was sad, right?

That was one of those things that people knew when it was happening.

Admittedly, he’d been a bit disconnected from… well everything, with all the work he’d been working on, but everything felt a bit distant. 

If he felt it at all. 

“What else do you need me to chop?”

“Mushrooms,” said Holly. “So many mushrooms.”

She had was putting the onions into the curry oil on the stove, and the smell of it was already filling the small space - Dan’s stomach made itself known. 

“That smells amazing,” he told her.

“It’ll smell even better when it actually has stuff in it, and not just curry powder,” said Holly, and she grinned. “I don’t think you can eat oil and curry powder, just by themselves.”

“You probably can’t, no,” said Dan, making a face. “It’d be kinda gross. Very greasy.”

“That’s what the mushrooms are for.”

“Mm?”

“Mushrooms absorb a _lot_ ,” Holly said. “That’s one reason I like to cook ‘em with stuff like curry.”

“I should write a song about curry,” said Dan, chopping mushrooms, staring down at the cutting board and not really seeing it.

“You think?”

“I don’t know what else I’d write a song about,” Dan said, and he sounded borderline miserable. “Sometimes I think the well has gone dry.”

“The well never goes dry,” Holly told him. “You sometimes have to take a break, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll never have it again.”

Dan put the knife down, and he went to Holly, wrapping his arms around her middle, his chin on her shoulder, watching as she sauteed the onions, coating them in the yellow curry. 

“How are you so wonderful?”

He was speaking directly into the skin of her neck, and she squirmed, just a bit - it must have been ticklish. 

“I do my best,” Holly said, and she sounded faintly uncomfortable.

She always did, when he was being especially complimentary. 

“You do more than your best,” said Dan. “Or else your best is really, really, really good.”

“I don’t know if my best warrants _that_ many “really”s,” said Holly, and she was clearly trying to be glib.

“I do,” Dan said, and he kissed her gently on the neck, right where her pulse was thudding.

She sighed, leaning against him, and her hair was soft against his cheek.

“Shit,” said Holly. “I forgot to buy hair dye.”

“Were you gonna get hair dye?”

“Yeah,” said Holly. “My roots are gonna be visible soon.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your natural hair color,” Dan said, his tone thoughtful. He felt her take in a breath to say something. “I mean on your head,” he said quickly.

“Oh,” she said, and he could feel her blushing against his cheek. 

“You’re adorable, you know that?”

He pressed his hand down on her belly, gently. 

She leaned into it, and he took in the feeling of her stomach rising and falling with every breath, took in the living scent of her, mixed in with the scent of the curry and the oil and the onions. 

He didn’t want to be anywhere else.

He wasn’t expecting that. 

He didn’t want to be with anyone else right now, he didn’t want to be on stage, or in some beautiful natural place.

He didn’t even want to be at home, with his family.

He just wanted to be here, with Holly.

… she was his family, at least a little bit, and he was her family.

That was an almost scary thought, and he held her closer to him, his arms shaking just a little bit, his fingers spread across the planes of her hips.

“If you wanna do any fooling around, can you calm your ardor until I finish working with the hot oil?”

“Sorry,” said Dan, and he gave her a kiss on the temple. “I wasn’t thinking about that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure,” he said. “I’ll beg on bended knee later, I promise.”

“You don’t have to beg on bended knee, you know,” she said, reaching around to hold on to the back of his head, tugging gently on the hair at the back of his head. 

He sighed into it, leaning into her, and he nuzzled into her temple, where her pulse beat gently. 

“I love you,” he told her quietly.

“Thank you,” she said, and she was clearly blushing, the skin getting warm under his lips. “I love you too.”

He sighed, gave her a final kiss, and then he was letting go of her, to go open cans of things, then setting the table.

A little romantic interlude, in the middle of their day to day lives. 

That was the nice part about living together, he was realizing. 

Just being able to… have moments.

* * *

The curry came out well.

Of course the curry came out well - Holly had made it. 

Holly made amazing food.

Sometimes he suspected that the reason he loved her food so much in the first place was because she was the one making it, but that was sappy as hell. 

So they ate their dinner together, talking back and forth about stuff, and it was… it was all of the things that filled him up.

Filled his stomach, filled his heart up.

He hadn’t realized how badly he needed all of this, until he was on the couch with her, almost falling asleep, her head tucked under his chin, her ear on his heart.

It was all happening in such a… progression.

They ate dinner, they cuddled each other, they kissed on the couch, then pulled apart - too tired and full to do much more.

They went to bed, probably later than they should have, and she slept with her back to him, pressed against the curve of his back.

He sighed, and let the warmth of her - of the bed - cover him, sink into his very bones.

* * *

Dan woke up at some unknown hour, uneasy, and unsure why. 

He’d had dreams - some kind of dreams, dreams of being torn in half, of giving away bits and bits and bits of himself, until there was nothing left.

Maybe he needed to stop letting Holly choose the movies.

It would probably be a bad idea, to just lie here, tossing and turning. 

So he got up out of bed, going to the couch and wrapping himself in a blanket.

He could read, or he could see if sleep would come to him here. 

But there wasn’t any sleep here - he lay in the darkness, and his anxieties began to circle the insides of his head. 

Was he doing polyamory wrong?

Would it be easier if it was just him and Holly?

How could he ask Holly to do something like that? 

Would she even be willing to do it?

He couldn’t imagine her leaving Suzy - she loved Suzy. 

Dan… had a feeling that he loved Arin. 

Maybe.

Did he?

Being with Arin made him happy… but it didn’t fill him up with the same kind of light and airiness that he felt with Holly.

Did that mean that he was leading Arin on?

He was somewhat alarmed to find that he was crying.

Why was he crying?

He didn’t seem to be able to stop. 

He sat on the bed, and he sobbed, tears dripping down onto his face, onto his lap, down his chin. 

“Dan?”

Dan looked up - the lights were still off, but he could make out the paleness of Holly’s face in the darkness.

“Hi,” Dan said through his stuffed up nose. “Fuck, I’m sorry, baby.”

‘What’s going on?”

Holly came shuffling out from the darkness, wearing a soft, fluffy bathrobe, looking befuddled.

“I… I’m sorry,’ Dan mumbled, and then she was shuffling closer, her hands on his head, and he pressed his face into her belly, sighing, his hands on her hips.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I’m… I’m doing polyamory wrong,” Dan mumbled.

“What?”

“I’m doing it wrong,” Dan said. “I’m doing it wrong, because… because I love you so hard. And it’s so… it’s so bright, it’s so… I could be happy with just it for the rest of my life. And if I was really polyamorous - if I was doing it right, I mean… then maybe i could find a way to… you know, I could find a way to… I’d feel the same for both of you.”

Holly made an “I’m listening” noise, and he kept clutching to her, still shaking. 

“I love you, and it’s like… it’s like being in the sun. it’s perfect. It’s… it’s exactly what I want. It’s everything I always wanted, that I didn’t know I could have. It’s like being under the sun.”

“And that’s not what it feels like to be with Arin?”

Her voice was sweet. 

“No,” Dan said. “With Arin, it’s just… it’s _easy_. It’s not bright. It’s not… it’s not something new and exciting and huge and deep. It’s… it’s just like it was, only… deeper.”

“And you want to feel for him like you feel for me?”

Dan paused. 

He honestly hadn’t thought of that - did he want to feel for Arin the same way he felt for Holly?

She was cupping his face, thumbing his cheekbones, collecting his tears. 

“I… I think that’d mean I really love him?”

“Do you think you don’t love him?”

“If I loved him, would I feel the same way?” 

“I don’t know,” Dan wailed, and then he was crying again, his face in her belly, and she made soothing noises.

“It’s okay,” she said quietly. “Can I tell you what I think?”

“Wh-what do you think?”

“I think that… I think that you might be falling for a fallacy,” she said. 

He looked up at her, his eyes glimmering, tears still tracking down his face.

“I think that you love me one way, and you love Arin a different way,” she said. 

Her voice was shaking a little bit.

“But -”

“Do you love your friends? The… the other members of the triforce?”

“Well, obviously,” said Dan. “They’re my best friends.”

“Do you love me more than them?”

Dan paused.

“... no? I mean… I love you harder, maybe? But that’s… that’s different.”

“Did you think that maybe your feelings for Arin are just different from the ones you have for me?”

He sniffled, and he sighed, a long, hard sigh. 

“I worry I’m not really polyamorous,” he said quietly, “because I get jealous of you and Suzy sometimes.”

“Oh, honey,” said Holly, she actually… she sat on his lap, sidesaddle, and she kissed his face, even as it was bristly and sticky with his need to shave and his tears. 

“I’m sorry,” Dan mumbled, “I don’t… I don’t want you to know about it. I don’t want you to feel bad about the fact that, you know… that you’re dating someone who isn’t me. And I know that you… I know you love her, that you wouldn’t want to leave her.”

“I wouldn’t want to leave you either, you know,” Holly said quietly. “Sometimes I worry… you know, that we moved too fast. That I let you move in with me so quickly, and you know, I’ve always been kinda… hinky when it comes to certain things.”

He nodded, his face pressed into her neck.

“But you make me happy,” she said, “and I’m not gonna let my own fear of what might happen, or that I’m doing it wrong, keep me from doing something that makes me happy. And you… you make me really happy, but so does Suzy. and you guys both make me feel differently, and that’s okay - I’m okay with it, you know what I mean?”

He nodded.

“I love you,” she told him. “And I want to keep loving you. And if… if you asked me to stop being with Suzy, I’d still love you, but I would still be hurt, I think.”

“I don’t want you to be hurt.”

“I know.” She took a deep breath. “I think that you need to not… you need to not thinking of how you love me being better or greater or whatever than how you love Arin. You love each other.” 

“But -”

“Can you imagine not being with Arin anymore? Like… not being able to kiss him, not being able to hold him anymore. Not being able to fuck him….”

“Christ,” Dan said, and his heart just… seized in his chest.

“I’ll take that as a “no,” then,” said Holly, her voice dry.

“Sorry,” Dan said. “I’m probably thinking about this too much.”

Holly shrugged.

“We’re still new to this,” she said. “To… like, you know, the way we’re doing it. The way we’re doing it now, anyway. It’s one thing when we don’t live together, but now we live together. Okay?”

“... okay,” said Dan. 

“Maybe you should talk to Arin,” Holly added. “See about his feelings, for you.”

Dan heaved a huge sigh.

“I’m overthinking everything, aren’t I?”

“Oh yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said, and she kissed him. “You gonna come to bed?”

“... yeah,” Dan said, and he pressed his face into her neck, holding her close to him. “In a minute.”

She kissed him, with her sweet, mouth, and he kissed her back, his cheeks still bristled and wet with tears.

* * * 

Dan talked to Arin.

They had a long talk, all things considered, and it resulted in some more crying on Dan’s part, because of course it did.

He cried at fucking everything, even when he wasn’t all emotionally fraught. 

And now he was… he was coming home.

He was coming home to _his_ home, still smelling a little bit like Arin, and there was Holly, standing in the kitchen, once again making a curry. 

And her hair was a deep, royal blue - the same color as his cape.

And his heart sang like one of her birds, or one of his own songs.

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic? 
> 
> Want me to write you something like this, or something completely different? 
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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